Profound Life Lessons: Acceptance and Courage
Kisa Gotami’s Journey to Understanding Loss
Kisa Gotami’s Second Quest for Mustard Seeds
After speaking with the Buddha, Kisa Gotami was asked to procure a handful of mustard seeds from a household untouched by death – where no one had lost a child, husband, parent, or friend. She diligently went from house to house, but her quest proved futile. She could not obtain the mustard seeds because she found not a single home where death had not claimed a family member.
Grasping the Universality of Death
The second time, Kisa Gotami grasped a profound truth she had initially failed to comprehend: death is common to all. She realized the self-centeredness of her grief, recognizing that every household she visited had experienced the loss of a loved one. Indeed, this was precisely the understanding the Buddha intended for her to attain.
Buddha’s Method: Shifting Kisa Gotami’s View
Kisa Gotami understood that death is common to all and that she was being selfish in her grief. She understood this only the second time because it was then that she found that there was not a single house where some beloved had not died. Initially, she was consumed by her personal sorrow, seeking a miraculous medicine to revive her son. The Buddha’s instruction to find mustard seeds from a death-free home was a deliberate act to guide her. His intention was to make her realize the universality of death and its natural place in life. After her unsuccessful second journey, a sense of dejection gave way to profound contemplation. As she reflected, she grasped that the human condition involves both life and eventual death, a truth common to all. This profound realization was precisely what the Buddha had aimed for her to understand.
Selfishness in Grief: A Deeper Look
Selfishness is often defined as an excessive preoccupation with oneself, one’s own needs, and desires, often to the exclusion of others. In her intense sorrow, Kisa Gotami was understandably unable to consider the grief of others. While it is natural to feel profound sadness over the death of loved ones, most individuals eventually proceed with the responsibilities of performing proper last rites. It is rare for someone to cling to a deceased body in the hope of a miracle. Family and society typically offer support during times of grief, but life eventually continues. Kisa Gotami, however, was so utterly consumed by her sorrow that she momentarily lost sight of the living members of her family and community. Yes, one could agree with Kisa Gotami’s later assessment that her initial grief, while natural, had become self-absorbed, preventing her from seeing the broader reality of human suffering and the continuity of life.
The Young Seagull’s Path to Self-Reliance
Overcoming Fear: The Seagull’s First Flight
The young seagull harbored a deep fear of flying over the sea, believing he would drown. To overcome this, his family devised a plan: they left him unattended on the ledge. His mother, strategically, would tear at a piece of fish at her feet, occasionally glancing at him. Overwhelmed by hunger, the young seagull was compelled to attempt his first flight to reach the food. This desperate act led to his success, and it was at this moment that he conquered his fear of flying over the sea.
Describing the Young Seagull’s Maiden Flight
Driven by intense hunger, the young seagull dived towards the fish, plummeting outwards and downwards into the open space. Though he initially feared drowning, his wings instinctively spread outwards. He continued his descent, then moved outwards, eventually landing safely on the sea, where he floated without any lingering fear.
Seagull Family’s Tough Love and Support
The young seagull had two brothers and a sister. His parents, recognizing his inability to muster the courage to fly, left him alone on the ledge while they flew with his siblings. Despite being able to feed him, they deliberately withheld food, aiming to compel him to fly and dive for his own sustenance. They even threatened him with starvation. This seemingly harsh approach was, in fact, an expression of their profound love. The parents were justified in their actions, as they sought to instill in him the vital importance of confidence and self-reliance. An individual cannot depend on their parents for sustenance throughout life. Therefore, it was crucial for him to learn to fly, dive, and forage for his own food. The attitude displayed by the seagull family, though stern, was ultimately rooted in their deep love, care, and concern for his future.
The Young Seagull’s Feigned Sleep and Observations
The young seagull approached the very edge of the ledge. He stood on one leg, tucking the other beneath his wing, then closed one eye, then the other, feigning sleep. His intention was to gauge his family’s interest in him. However, he observed that they were largely oblivious to his act. His brothers and sister were dozing on the plateau, and his father was meticulously preening the feathers on his white back. Only his mother seemed to notice him. Periodically, she would tear at a piece of fish at her feet, then scrape each side of her beak on the rock.