Mass and balance

Bill Furlongs runs a coal and fuel business. With the freezing December temperatures, Furlong’s business is in high demand in the week leading up to Christmas. His work is laborious, taking two whole days to manage the materials and even more time to deliver the orders around town. Bill and his crew go to Kehoe’s on Fridays to eat hot dinners and unwind.  

Growing up, Furlong was an only child and  was bullied for having an unmarried mother and an absent father. His mother, Sarah, gave birth to him when she was only sixteen, and was taken in by Mrs. Wilson, a wealthy Protestant widow, to work on her property and raise Furlong. Mrs. Wilson lived off her deceased husband’s pension and made an income from her herd of cows and sheep. She raised Furlong alongside Sarah, helping him with reading and vocabulary. Ned, the farmhand, also worked and lived on the property. Furlong was raised with Protestant morals, a kind heart, and an industrious work ethic. It is hinted that Sarah died of a brain bleed when Furlong was twelve years old. In the present, Furlong still does not know who his biological father is, something that he wonders about often.  

Furlong and his wife, Eileen, have five daughters: Kathleen, Joan, Sheila, Grace, and Loretta. Furlong is proud of his girls, who are smart, talented, and involved in the religious community. Kathleen and Joan attend St. Margaret’s secondary school, Sheila and Grace take music lessons at the convent, and Joan sings in the choir.

Furlong shares with Eileen that he offered Mick Sinnott’s son a ride and gave him some spare change. Eileen disapproves of his actions. In the evening while Eileen sleeps, Furlong, unable to rest because of the thoughts and questions ceaselessly circling his mind, drinks tea and watches the town through his window. He worries about his girls growing up, the poverty in his community, and people abandoning their responsibilities because their life is too hard.  

The Furlongs gather in the town center for the annual Christmas lighting. The convent choir sings, and people walk around looking in shop windows. Eileen looks at a pair of patent shoes and a matching handbag. A man dressed as Santa walks towards the crowd and frightens Loretta. Her fearful reaction makes Furlong worry that she won’t be brave enough for the world.

At home, the girls bake and write letters to Santa. Nostalgic, Furlong remembers the time he asked for a Jigsaw puzzle and his father for Christmas. He received neither, instead getting a hot water bottle from Ned and the book A Christmas Carol from Mrs. Wilson. After the girls go to sleep, Eileen and Furlong relax and watch TV. She tells him that he works too hard, and they both compliment one another on raising a happy family. They discuss Christmas presents, and he says that he only wants David Copperfield, a book by Walter Macken, or a dictionary for the house. Furlong continues to overthink and worry about the purpose of his mundane life, Loretta’s spelling, and the town gossip. 

The convent stands at the top of the hill overlooking the town. It shares a wall with St. Margaret’s, where Furlong’s daughters attend school. The Good Shepherd nuns run the convent, a place meant to reform troubled girls of “low character”. It’s rumored that these girls are overworked, underfed, cruelly punished, and separated from their illegitimate children, who are then sent to wealthy families in America, Australia, and other countries. Furlong refuses to believe these rumors.  Attempting to take a pear from the convent garden, he’s scared off by geese. Furlong walks into the convent, where he finds shoeless girls scrubbing the floor on their hands and knees. One desperate girl approaches Furlong, begging him to help her escape and even offering to work for him. He says he can’t help, and she tells him she wants to drown herself. A nun approaches Furlong, and Furlong asks for Sister Carmel to approve his coal delivery. He considers asking about the begging girl, but he doesn’t. The nun writes out the receipt, and he leaves.  

Driving away in the lorry, Furlong panics, overwhelmed by the girls’ conditions and the padlock inside the convent door, which keeps the girls trapped inside. Furlong is distracted while he drives and ends up getting lost. He finds an old man with a billhook and asks where the road will take him.  

That evening, Furlong tells Eileen about his experience at the convent. She questions why he’s even thinking about it and tells him that it’s not their problem. The two begin to argue. Eileen tells him that overthinking won’t help, that he’s sensitive, and that he should ignore it. She reminds him he knows what it’s like to witness young girls suffer, given his mother’s experience of being a teen mom. She insists that they should mind their own business and focus on raising their girls right. Furlong challenges her, asking how she’d feel if it was one of their daughters in the convent. Eileen reminds him that their girls are not there and that he needs to stay grounded in reality. Furlong replies that it’s a good thing Mrs. Wilson was not as ignorant as she is, otherwise his mother would have ended up in a place like the convent. Eileen tells him that Mrs. Wilson had different priorities because she was privileged and free. 

In the days before Christmas, Furlong is inundated with delivery requests due to a snow forecast. He checks in with Kathleen, who helps him run the office while he makes out-of-town deliveries. Furlong tells Kathleen he’ll need to work early Sunday. Sensing something’s wrong, he asks if the men at the yard are bothering her, but she reassures him that they aren’t. She just wants to shop with friends but has a dentist appointment. 

The next morning, Furlong wakes before dawn for deliveries. Watching Eileen sleep peacefully, he wishes he could stay at home. He checks in on the girls and finds that Loretta is awake. She asks him if he really has to leave, and he says he must. When Furlong arrives at the coal yard, he realizes the padlock is frozen and goes to ask a neighbor for hot water to unfreeze the lock. After he returns the kettle to the woman, he imagines for a moment what it would be like to be her husband. She offers him a cup of tea, but he tells her he needs to get back to the yard. He offers her a small kindness—a free bag of logs, as a thank-you—but she rejects the offer, wishing him a Happy Christmas. 

At the yard, Furlong checks the lorry, reviews the orders, and leaves a note for a bag of logs to be left at the neighbor’s house across the street. Returning to the convent, Furlong struggles to open the coal shed’s stiff lock and discovers a young girl shivering inside. He gives her his jacket and helps her stand. She’s cold, weak, and asks about her fourteen-week-old baby, whom she has not seen since his birth. Desperate, she asks Furlong to ask the nuns about where her baby is. Furlong rings the convent bell, where a nun answers briefly before shutting the door. Eventually, Mother Superior appears, acting surprised at the girl’s situation, and invites them both in. The girl is taken away by another nun for a bath. Furlong says he has to leave for Mass, but Mother Superior insists he stay. 

Walking through the convent, Furlong sees girls skinning turnips and washing heads of cabbages. Mother Superior, condescendingly calling Furlong “Billy”, invites him into a room with a fireplace. The two drink tea while she praises his daughters’ progress in music, and asks if they plan to attend St. Margaret’s despite limited spots. She suggests it must be disappointing not to have a son to carry on the family name. But Furlong, a proud son of a single mother, tells Mother Superior that he has his mother’s name, and it never bothered him. He continues by explaining how he’s proud of his daughters and has nothing against women, noting that everyone comes from a woman.  

The young girl from the coal shed reappears, now wearing a blouse, cardigan, a pleated skirt, and shoes. Her hair, still wet, catches Furlong’s attention; he thinks that the nuns were fast–almost suspiciously fast–in cleaning her up. Mother Superior offers her tea and cake and casually inquires why she was in the coal shed. The girl, clearly afraid of giving the wrong answer, says it was part of a game she was playing with the other girls. In order to convince Furlong that the situation is harmless, Mother Superior tells Sarah it was just “a big nothing,” prompting her to repeat the words aloud and downplay her experience. The girl breaks down crying and is taken to the kitchen with another nun. Now that the girl has left, Furlong notices the nuns want him to leave, too, but he decides to stay, wanting to discover the truth behind the convent’s treatment of the girl. Mother Superior pours him more tea and gives him an envelope with a Christmas card and money, a clear attempt at hush money.  

On his way out, Furlong sees the young girl in the kitchen and offers help. She says her name is Enda, a boy’s name, but when he asks for her real name, she replies that it’s Sarah—the same name as his mother. He tells her his name and where to find him if she needs anything. He leaves, unsettled, and hears the door lock behind him. 

Furlong misses the first Mass, and Eileen asks if Mother Superior gave him a Christmas bonus. He hands her the envelope and goes to wash up, scrubbing the black soot from his hands and fingernails. Eileen asks if he has change for the church collection box, and he asks if she has enough in her purse to give to the kids.  

At Mass, Furlong observes the people in the congregation, noticing that they are whispering and gossiping about one another. Afterwards at home, Furlong’s daughters decorate for Christmas, practice their instruments, and bake and ice the Christmas cake. Restless, Furlong tells Eileen that he is going to pay a visit to Ned, and she tells him he can invite Ned for Christmas dinner if he’d like. 

On the drive to the Wilson property, Furlong recalls a memory of sitting with Ned at Mrs. Wilson’s house while she was still alive. The two talked about how Mrs. Wilson took care of the three of them and never regretted it. Ned shares that he is satisfied with his life. He confesses to Furlong that he used to steal Mrs. Wilson’s haystacks and give them to another farmhand for his donkey. Ned and Furlong both wonder who his father might be, and Ned tells Furlong that his mother had mingled with a few men in the summer before he was born, so it could’ve been anyone.  

Back in the present, Furlong arrives at the Wilsons’, where a woman answers the door. She tells him Ned was hospitalized for pneumonia a few weeks ago and is recovering in a nursing home. She invites him in to see the Wilsons, but he declines. She tells him she knows he’s a relative by his strong resemblance to Ned. Furlong excuses himself, returns to his car, and ruminates over the possibility that Ned could be his father. Driving home, he thinks about the girl at the convent and the hypocrisy of going to Mass after that experience.

On Christmas Eve, Furlong goes to work. With gratitude, he reflects on the tradition of visiting the graves of his mother and Mrs. Wilson with his daughters at Christmas. After checking everything at the yard, he starts the lorry and notices black smoke coming from the exhaust, realizing it’s on its last leg. He knows he’ll have to prioritize repairs over the new windows Eileen wanted. 

As Furlong makes deliveries, he is warmly greeted by his customers, reminding him of the goodness in people. Back at the coal yard, the men finish their work and take turns scrubbing their hands and rinsing their boots. They head to Kehoe’s for a Christmas dinner celebration, Furlong planning to stay just long enough to wish his crew a Happy Christmas and ensure they receive their bonuses. 

Mrs. Kehoe makes small talk with Furlong before inquiring about his encounter at the convent. She warns him to stay quiet about his experience, reminding him of the nuns’ influence in the community, which includes his daughters’ chances of being admitted to St. Margaret’s school. Furlong thanks her and leaves. 

While running errands in town, he peers into shop windows and hears Christmas music from a nearby speaker. At the toy shop, he asks Mrs. Stafford for a 500-piece farm jigsaw, like the one he wanted as a child, but she informs him that they only sell simpler puzzles for kids. He buys a bag of Lemon’s jellies and leaves. Furlong then goes to the barber and reflects on the many ways that Ned cared for him when he was younger—polishing his shoes, tying his laces, buying his first razor, and teaching him to shave. The idea that Ned could be his father continues to circle his mind. 

After his haircut, Furlong makes his way over to Hanrahan’s to pick up the patent shoes he purchased for Eileen’s Christmas present. Afterwards, he crosses the bridge, recalling the myth of the cursed river. People believed the Barrow was cursed by monks who were driven out after growing greedy over river tolls. As they left, they vowed the river would take exactly three lives each year, their bodies ending up in its waters. Furlong thinks about the young girl who begged him to take her to the river to drown. Though he knows Eileen is probably wondering where he is, Furlong feels a new sense of purpose and decides not to go home. He walks past festive homes and observes people in their windows as he makes his way to the convent. 

Furlong approaches the coal shed, hesitating for a moment before deciding to open it. He finds Sarah lying on the coals, shivering and weak. He helps her to her feet, gives her his coat, and the two leave the convent grounds. 

On their walk back to town, Furlong considers taking Sarah to the priest, but he suspects that  he and the rest of the church might be complicit in the convent’s abuse. People pass him and Sarah on the street—some curious, some offering holiday greetings—but no one speaks to Sarah. Furlong feels no need to explain why she’s with him. 

In the town center, Sarah vomits. She and Furlong pause at the Nativity scene, where she brushes snow off the donkey’s ear, a small gesture of appreciation for its simple beauty. As they continue, Sarah weakly leans on him for support. Furlong feels both fear and fulfillment, knowing he’s done the right thing despite the consequences ahead. He reflects on the idea that, without Mrs. Wilson’s kindness, his mother might have ended up in a convent, forced to endure abuse and ignored by a community that would rather feign ignorance than risk the consequences of intervening. He believes the hardest part is over, despite the inevitable challenges ahead, and that they will be okay.