Marriage and Inequality: Exploring Traditional, Modern, and Egalitarian Relationships
How Do Couples Justify Inequality in a Marriage?
Traditional Marriage:
- Husband has greater authority as the head of the family.
- Wife makes decisions in certain areas (e.g., household shopping), but husband has veto power.
- Wife is a full-time homemaker responsible for home and child care.
- Husband is the breadwinner.
- Couples may not be close friends; wife finds companionship with others.
- Husband has male friends.
Modern Marriage:
- Spouses have a near-peer relationship.
- Wife works outside the home, but her job is less important than her husband’s.
- Wife’s paid employment should not interfere with her household responsibilities.
- Both spouses spend equal time at work, but the man is considered the real provider.
- Couples value companionship and share leisure activities.
- Wife often works a”second shif” at home, but does not complain due to desire to be close to children.
Egalitarian Marriage:
- Partners have equal power and authority.
- Responsibilities are shared equally, including child care.
- Partners support each other’s career advancements.
- Household tasks are assigned based on interest and ability.
- Marriages provide intimacy, companionship, and mutual respect.
- Husband does not feel superior to wife.
- Partners communicate well and spend a lot of time together.
- Each partner considers the other their best friend.
Reasons for the Decline of Happiness in Married Lives:
- Women do more housework and childcare after the birth of a child.
- Negative feelings arise when expectations of equal sharing are violated.
- The unfair division of labor, not the new responsibilities, causes unhappiness.
- Women who expect equality become more unhappy when it is not met.
- When fathers refuse to share night-time parenting responsibilities, it becomes a burden for women.
- As children leave home, couples have more freedom and flexibility, leading to increased marital happiness.
- Older couples tend to have higher marital satisfaction.
Cohabiting Couples:
- Living together without being married.
- Having children without marriage.
- Men tend to be less committed in cohabiting relationships.
- Commitment involves working as a team, desiring a long-term future, and making sacrifices.
- Cohabiting couples tend to have lower education and incomes.
- They have a similar division of labor as modern marriages, with both partners working outside the home and women doing more housework.
Images of Mothers and Motherhood:
- Western society holds strong beliefs about motherhood.
- Motherhood is seen as the ultimate fulfillment for women.
- Those who do not want to be mothers are considered psychologically disturbed.
- Women are believed to be instinctively good at caregiving.
- Mothers are expected to sacrifice their own needs for their children.
- Working mothers are often seen as inferior.
- Women’s devotion to childcare limits their career and political opportunities.
Commonalities of Mothers:
- Motherhood brings significant changes in identity and life circumstances.
- Motherhood can involve intense love, competence, and achievement.
- Motherhood is a constantly evolving relationship.
- Mothers and children develop a mutual equality over time.
- Both mothers and children must confront the limitations of love and care.
- Society often fails to recognize the support that children provide to their caregivers.